Saturday, January 31, 2015

ITS YOU..!!







 who i feel around me..
when no one is there..its you..!!
thoughts of whom i desire..
when nothing to share..its you..!!
seven billion people  in this world exist
but who is the one i care..its you..!!
when i lose my hope..in my own faith
who i look up to..its you..!!
days and nights  and i think more than that
who i waited for..its you..!!
what its like i am not sure
a dream..or a dream come true..its you..!!
a shooting star, a sky brighten blue
a beautiful journey i am going through ..its you...!!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

ab kahin nahi jana..!!

hajaro ki bheed me..
anjani pehchano ke sath
vo jo hai, barso se na hui mulakat..
aisa hamdard, jise dekhne ke baad
lage...ab kahin nahi jana..!!

kabhi kabhar ki udasi
aankho me jo aa jati
duniya ki halchul bhi jise..
har bar na bhar pati..
mann ke uss sannate ko karde aabad..!!
uski ek muskurahat ke baad
lage..ab kahin nahi jana..!!

har baat ko karde aasa..
dard ko ojhal..
meri ansuljhi pareshaniyo ka..
jiske paas ho hal..
marham sa asar karti hui,uski baat
gehraiyo tak sukun jo bharde..vo halaat..ki
lage ..ab kahin nahi jana...!!

baatein jo na tumhe batai..
vo lamhe jo na bate tumse..
itni ankahi keh paungi kaise..
hawao ke hath bheju ya lu khat ka sath..
dil ki pati, dil he se padhte aise jazbaat..ki
lage..ab kahin nahi jana...!!

lage ...ab kahin nahi jana..!!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

NEPAL: A JOURNEY BEYOND WORDS..!!

6:15 , I am sitting on old Delhi  railway station , waiting for our connecting train. And thought of writing my next blog post…guess what.. I am dying to pen it down..i  don’t know  whether it would be possible to set down the exact emotions we felt.

Its not that nobody had trip which we had..its not that no group had ever enjoyed the way we did. Its that ..it is incomparable!!!! This voyage  had its own elements of fun…friendship ..pretty troubles  at times…its..its..unexpected…unplanned…bizarre ..:P happy­- moments- wali –journey. Its NEPAL..!!

Well..i had never been on journey where I was in group of people who were hardly known to me. But I also  have never been on journey where I had been so happy in each and every single moment.!!
Oh..you haven’t met them…?  Ok then  lets meet “them”..my tripmates..you all made this journey worthwhile.

Noni: she reminds me of my lil sister, a cute, charming, and talkative girl. We both shared quite a time together..shared views. She  was youngest in group and enclosed the group with her energy..!
Anjali, a cute ,gorgeous ,fun girl and dilkhush..hey “ main aadhaa….introduction dungi tera..”:P you know you made us laugh real hard..your jokes on me n my sis..:P and thanx for  taking lovely pictures dude.
Vikram, seems to be aggressive but is protective and caring too. Thanks for being there while shopping..you bargain the best.:) Ashi..hmm quite, calm ,mature girl. ..the time I  spent with you was significant somehow.your silence has volume. Thanks to both of you.
Kiki: (my sis) she is the best..:P I know she was shocked many a times throughout  trip..:P
Abhishek, I mean ..what to say..this trip would have been incomplete without you. Its not you were the only one who took the responsibility but you were the only one who took the responsibility  all the time..!! you had solution for every situation..& thanks for being in senses when most of us  were not..you know what I mean…:P
Shit..!! I lost my aadhar card during trip…!!:( (a sudden  remembrance) sorry..shall we begin the journey..Vamos a empezar

23rd June: leaving from jodhpur
It was around 4:30 am..i got up..we had our train at 6:30 am. Though I am big girl now but the thrill was like  a little girl who was about to go on a school trip#those lil butterflies in stomach # .In india ,trains are hardly on time ..Ranikhet express(Jodhpur to haldwani) was no exception .it was about half and hour late..I met my going to be tourmates , had formal greetings.

No network ..roaming..low battery..part of travelling..!! I was told to switch off my cell phone (due to extra charges)as soon as we reach to Nepal but I did it when I was in india only..:P. @ 4:30 am we were at haldvani.we took a bus for Banbasa..a small town..last Indian station for Nepal. we reached to banbasa in just about two and a half hrs. we checked out our ID proofs..coz we were actually goin to cross the border..!! doesn’t it give a strange feeling..?? :P crossing the border n all..it make us realize that yeah…we are Indians..!! elections were goin on in banbasa so we had to cross the border with our heavy bags..walked 2 km. I guess in humid afternoon..pheww..!! we were in another country..!! I was trying to find the difference  between the clothes..faces..etc etc..but they were  not as much as I thought. But Nepal’s economy is quite weak..and that was Clearly visible.  It was damn hot climate..tanned faces with pimples doesn’t look that pretty..:P well..it happens…!!

24th June: Arrival to real Nepal:
By  bus we reached to Mahendra nagar..I don’t want to but I will call it discouraging city. Filthy surroundings…worst transport services..liquor shops  all around..cheap locals..and  cherry on the top ..climate..was..awfully humid…sticky..terrible  hotel services  and tasteless food  made it horrendous. Once we felt like goin back to india..but somehow and luckily  we controlled the emotions..:P the best thing we did that we hired a taxi for rest of our Nepal Darshan..but you know what I mentioned  about  Mahendra nagar…we had to wait for hours for that taxi..!! I was feeling low ..energyless..and desperately wanted a glass of fresh juice..but I couldn’t find itL..for an instant I felt it wasn’t worth ..!! and I thank god that I was wrong…!!:)

Leaving for Pokhra: 24th June we left for pokhra..the main destination of our trip. Sorry…!! Did I say pokhra..?? it wasn’t that near as it sounds. It took us around 14-a5 hrs drive..yes it was exhausting  but fun was never missing. We were 8 friends in a Scorpio , finding it  hard to get settled in our sleeping position. Still we were singing..chatting..and keeping our Indian driver “sonu”  awake..seat beside him was having the pleasure of each of us …zig zag drive way..it was dark so we couldn’t enjoy the greenery ..but what we witnessed  was much more than just seeing the greenery..!! long  trees…filled with lightbugs… blinking in the star light.. breathtaking..!! as if night was celebrating the Christmas ..!!sights like this makes you feel what a great artist God is..!! we took 5 min. halt there..but will keep the view in hearts forever..!!..i think travelling  makes you modest..you see what a tiny place you occupy in the world..!! like those small light bugs..we also are small part of this immense nature.:)

@ Palpa fall:25th June
Early morning we arrived at  palpa..a b’ful place..lush green, mountains..hazy  weather …having tea there..playing with john(dog)  and great fun at palpa fall..all were surreal..!!freshness of water took away our  drowsiness of journey..:))
We started again and around 12:30 pm we were in “pokhra.” it is modern,cool,city..shoppers paradise. If you can bargain..yes..welcome to city pokhra. Bags, souvenir ,shoes, clothes etc etc. but for us foremost  catch  was BAGS..!! back to the city..its surrounded by high hills..roofed by clouds..and the famous “fewa lake”..pokhra has it international vibes ..bars, cafes, live music playing on , almost no traffic..and for the soul…PEACE..!!
Staying is quite cheap..we stayed at “traveler’s guest house” a cheap and nice place to be at. As the day passed..and light, cool breezes touched our faces, we got in the mood of feeling  the nerve of this city. Wherever you go becomes a part of you some how..!!  we party hard that night. Unlike the afternoon weather was quite cool..infact  it was raining..:)

26th June:  next morning we all got up late due to last night of course..;) we dressed up  and left for our next spot in pokhra peace stupa. Pokhara peace Stupa is a Buddhist pagoda-style monument on a hilltop in Ananda hill of Pumdi Bhumdi Village Development Committee, in the district of Kaski, Nepal. The spot situated at the height of 1100 meters. Standing on top of the Ananda hill, Shanti Stupa adds more beauty to Pokhara Valley. It is a perfect holiday place providing a clear view of the Himalayan range, Fewa Lake andPokhara city….well…after this we moved to gupteshwar cave..as the name suggests ..its somewhat  “gupt” I thought cave would be scary coz I fear darkness but it wasn’t. it was b’ful. Water droplets were falling from the roof of the cave and stairs were steep. The golden and silver blushes on some parts of the wall along with the beach-sand like appearance of the floor . we moved towards the water fall coming from Devi's fall. It was equally good even if I missed the spot in “wish pool” but my wish of having a great trip was already fulfilled.:))

There is always little things which give  the great  experiences ..”laughing with friends..sitting in silence near phewa lake..meeting new people..just wandering around  pokhra streets…enjoying the coffee in rain…taking random clicks…having nice small conversations …biking in mountains..sharing momos..boating in rain..making Sparta..having tea during  midnight  drive..catching the light bugs…travelling in truck ...i mean what not..its making me nostalgic..:)L

Sometimes words are not enough to express such an experience..for me individually this trip has been one of the best thing that happened to me. I was free..on  my own..fulfilled some of the vital-cum –creepy desires.:P
 I travelled not only to some other country but into my own self. Anyways ..!! last day in pokhra made all of us sad. It was to be..but every good thing comes to an end..and our destination nainital proved to be  awesome end of this whole trip. We didn’t want this journey to end but you go away ,so that you can come back ..so that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors..coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

So much to write about but I can’t and  there should be some unsaid words….unexpressed feelings ..Undescribed beauty ..to keep such stuffs  alive in your memories..:))

Noni..anjali…abhishek..vikram..dilkhush..aashi..kiki…love you all..and thank you for making this journey unforgettable..:))))
I treasure this journey..!!!


Sunday, May 18, 2014

"everything-illusion"


I don't know what you might think about the heading..:everything illusion"...ummm you may think that "everything is illusion" or you may think "illusion is everything"...shit..!! sorry for my absurd  sense of  humor sometimes...ok..!! i end this guessing game..
well..."everything -illusion " is my illusion..ok let me start with this, "the reality"..It seems that one person can not give another everything"..you are right. very smart.very astute.very sensible..with this rationale at the back of your mind you will never be in danger of demanding too much from another person and without this burden you can settle instead for simply contributing to their happiness. This saves energy for more so called difficult times. Its how people live together,its how people get married, its how promises are delivered . And now comes my illusion.."it seems that one person can not give another everything..but..it should be one's ambition and one should never stop trying"..!!

I am not much convinced with the idea of "partnership of convenience " are created,consolidated,neglected,wrenched,saved and how they pull through in the end. Major task..!! i have great deal of respect for all that honestly. i do. but I can't be, don't want to be,don't think like this.
i don't think relationships should be made outta convinience. somebody has same status...lets be together, somebody has same family values ,same culture,same society..lets be together..??

one should be genuinely interested in another's life. one should be willing to do anything for someones's happiness..i know all sounds too demanding but I am saying this as part of doing not part of expecting..!1

people might say "who has time to give someone everything".."there are other issues too.".."day to day struggle" " inflation", "politics", "relatives" " and TV too..funny..!!

i would just say one needs to think why they are running for, chasing for and then you won't find this everything -illusion...just a illusion..!

my mother think its dangerous illusion for a girl..:P i might not get anyone to marry..;P..well thats a possibility...:P lets see...!!


Sunday, April 13, 2014

"TRUST BEING"




Time and again we get to hear that “its hard to come across  even a one person whom you could trust “. And its not myth too.  How to dig up these kind of human beings???  Few days back ,I wanted to make this my face book status.. “ you are lucky if you are having someone you can blindly trust, who would never hurt you..!! who would not play with your feelings..!! then you will be in heaven..!!”  but  hey ..!! one thought stopped me to do this. Which was yeah..its imperative  to find that trust worthy person in life and its equally easier- said- than- done too. But you know whats more important ? ..its “To be that trustworthy person..!!” on whom someone could have faith, on whom someone could rely any time.

To be like this is such a tremendous feeling. Coz if you are like someone who is so mentally strong that “blaming”, “expectation” are no longer in his\her dictionary then you can love truly..!! its hard sometimes you might get hurt ,however you don’t feel as you cheated someone, not being honest..you were best at what you were behaving …doing..and being..!!

And the beauty of , I would call , becoming “TRUST BEING”( alien form of human being:P) is that you are not in any guilt. Its purity you feel ..i have seen people who claim they are guilty(not sure if they realy are..:P) are suffering all the time. And its true guilt is huge affliction.

When you are guilty or feeling sad about not having someone to trust or any negative feeling which makes you insecure and empty inside. Don’t look for trust factor outside..the key is to find it inside ..!! TRUST YOURSELF  and there will be no void. Fill yourself with honesty ,truth,love,acceptance and forgiveness and here you go..!! A trust being is ready .its good for you and its good for others too.:)

So becoming “trust being” is a process..a journey and its destination is purity of soul..!!:)
Then you can connect better with ppl. ..love better..& become better…!! And so don’t always look for these “trust beings”..just try to be..!!:)

Friday, May 17, 2013

GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES..everything happens for a reason...!!

i am feeling like i am in "zero state"..a state where you have nothing to lose, there is not a single thing or event which i have to control ...no burden on my shoulder...

i don't have to bother about my life's action plan coz there is none...:P:P because when i had plans..nothin worked out my way...when i was trying to control things ,it went in vain.. There was a time( i guess 2 days before writing this..:P) i was thinking that why don't normal things happen with me? why don't GOD give me some obvious outcomes? why don't my troubles disappear in expected way..? and after so many rounds of thinking and thinking...i got devine insight of this matter..:P "i never wanted so called normal things in my life"...n GOD listened  to me...!!

and if i say that i am feeling free now it means i'have stopped controlling  my destiny..though i never had but i felt so..if i would have controlled my destiny..my life would have been filled with nonsense....:P

now i am not afraid to trust the god's plan..i have cancelled mine..i don't bother what decisions,situations he choose for me..i am trusting him..!! I don't know where he would lead me to..i want to hold his hand and walk with him..and explore the life from his eyes..!!

you know we believe it or not everything happens for a reason...we blame our destiny ..but accept that god's plans are always better than ours.Make sure you are doing what God wants you to do--then do it with all your strength..if he has put you on a difficult situation , must be some reason no..be cool..he is there for you...so no fuss from now on...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

khuda se yaari


jab teri aawaz sunai deti hai..
lagta hai, khuda nibha raha hai humse yaari..

tera aana aisa lagta hai
jaise sardi ki dhoop
pyar se khil jati hai
phoolo ki jaise kyari..
lagta hai, khuda nibha rha hai humse yaari..

tujhse pehle bhi jia hai mene..
dil me the armaan tab bhi..
par kyu jinda si lagti hai ab..
ye jindagi sari..
lagta hai khuda nibha raha hai humse yaari..

tera milna jaise kismat ki baat hai..
yu toh bhatak rahe the hum
apne he saaye ke peeche..
khud ke hone ka ehsaas mila
jab laga ke himmat hari..
lagta hai khuda nibha raha hai humse yaari..